The Other Within Us: Female Friendship from Wollstonecraft to Instagram
In an age of curation and comparison, what does it mean to be a girl’s girl?
On the first day of university classes, I found myself adrift in a small lecture hall, a solitary, well-dressed figure marooned in the back row amidst a sea of unfamiliar faces. Then, with a rustle of movement and a flurry of motion, she appeared – a pretty blonde, late to class. Without the slightest hint of hesitation, she headed straight towards me and took the seat beside mine. As she settled in, her eyes glanced down. ‘Cute boots!’ she whispered. I smiled. ‘Thank you – they’re new.’ Introductions were made, and instantly, a new friendship was formed.
I have always been a “girl's girl” – a descriptor that captures something essential about how I navigate the world and my relationships with other women1. These chance encounters, these instant bonds forged between strangers, form a recurring theme in the narrative of my life. I seem to have an inherent gift for establishing connections, for tapping into that deep reservoir of shared understanding that exists between women. The easy compliments, the unforced camaraderie, the current of mutual recognition that passes between us – these are the moments that define and shape my journey through life.
It is not about competition or comparison, those tiresome scripts that society so often thrusts upon us. For me, it's about the happiness in finding kindred spirits, about lifting one another up without hesitation or self-consciousness. There's a kind of sacred intimacy in these moments, a depth of communication that transcends the superficial. We speak a language that is at once ancient and ever-new, shaped by the collective weight of our experiences.