Notes Between Us /005
On filtered lives, political theatre, and building a shared home from contrasting tastes; also, our current media consumption and the articles worth your time.
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A brilliant thought came to me recently, as they sometimes do, not with urgency but with the strange clarity of remembering a dream after waking. It was about Instagram, oddly enough – how, when it first emerged, we placed those antique filters over our lives, pretending at nostalgia, at grain and light leaks and curated imperfection. I remember P saying, quite offhandedly, that one day I might look back and wonder what I had been thinking. And he was right, in his quiet, observational way. The filters grew bolder. They moved from photos to faces, and from faces, somehow, to skin. There were people who chose to become their filtered images. And now, I think, it’s our words. Some are filtering those too. Not with a lens, but with something subtler, colder – AI, software, algorithms that suggest and smooth and overwrite. It’s a strange thought, isn’t it? I told you it was brilliant.
If you’ve read my (very) late Sunday letter, you’ll know we’ve just moved into a new flat (one week ago today, in fact) and we’re slowly beginning to imagine how to make it ours. This time, we’re doing it together. Planning, choosing, learning not only each other’s ever-changing styles, but how to meet in the middle, to compromise, and create something shared. There is, in our tastes, a soft tension – not opposition, exactly, but a difference in rhythm, in light, in desire. P moves toward the pale and the simple: a Scandinavian spareness, the softened edge of plywood, rooms shaped not by objects but by absence. His world is one of understatements – the utility of built-ins, the calm of cotton, the certainty of cool blues and open light. Mine curves differently. I gravitate towards depth, in texture, in things that carry the weight of the past. Velvet, stone, dark woods that warm as the sun drops low. My pieces gather density where his seek air. It’s tempting to think one of us should simply give way. But the flat is proving more interesting in its contradictions – a dark velvet chair against white walls, warm wood where you’d expect steel.
This week’s letter is the fifth instalment of Notes Between Us – a space where we share what's been capturing our attention lately: cultural moments and ideas, fleeting observations, reflections, and things worth pausing for. Our personal marginalia – the notes we'd scribble in the margins of our shared life.
This edition (free for all subscribers) includes reflections on how AI is subtly shaping our voices, thoughts on Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest film as a mirror for political spectacle, a glimpse into the slow art of merging two design sensibilities, and what it means to stay human in an algorithmic age. Also included: a curated roundup of thought-provoking reads on attention, control, and creativity in an age of distraction.
Here's a collection of the meaningful and the fleeting – small moments of thought, art, and life to accompany you through the week.
Out of Step, Not Out of Power
There’s a strange feeling in the air these days, a sense that culture, politics, and media have become theatre. Substance has been replaced by spectacle, deliberation by performance, and the loudest, most performative voices dominate. Meaning hasn’t disappeared entirely, but it’s harder to find, harder to inhabit. Turn on the news, scroll through social media, and it’s easy to feel like a spectator in someone else’s production, a machine moving fast, indifferent to individuals, indifferent to integrity.
It’s a kind of “divide and conquer”: attention fragmented, discourse curated, focus constantly shaped by forces we barely notice. In this climate, Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another lands with a curious resonance. Watching Leo’s lapsed revolutionary stumble through endless, absurd battles felt like an awakening, a humorous mirror for our own lives, where grand gestures often feel hollow, and the machinery of power marches on regardless. The absurdity is the point: it’s recognisable, it’s funny, and somehow, it clarifies the state of the world.
And yet, hope remains. Real connection, deliberate attention, small acts of human engagement – these are our tools. Signing up for a class, conversing with someone, reading something slowly, creating something authentic – these are ways of taking something back. Power ultimately resides with the people: what we notice, what we support, what we vote for, what we tolerate – or refuse.
Perhaps many of us feel the same way: out of step with the noise, attuned to something quieter, slower, more human. That awareness, even in a world dominated by spectacle, is the start of reclaiming agency, one small connection at a time.
DESIGN & DÉCOR /his and hers
Across the years and across the map – city after city, country after country – it was I who gathered the objects, who placed the chairs just so, who tried to make sense of space. (All except in that very first place, where neither of us quite knew what we were doing yet.) But this time, it’s different. P has ideas. And opinions. And we’re trying, really trying, to make something shared, not just mine with a nod from him. It’s not easy, blending two styles, two sensibilities. But we’ve found our starting points: his, above. Mine, below.
I would describe his style as quiet and considered, rooted in the warmth of natural materials and the calm of clean lines. The living room he’s saved leans heavily on the aesthetics of Scandinavian and Japanese design: light-toned plywood in generous planes, built-in forms that double as both storage and structure, and furniture so low it feels part of the architecture. There’s a clarity to it: wide windows usher in soft, diffuse light, and every texture, from the rug to the cushions, stays within a muted, wintry palette of blues, greys, and creams. It’s minimal, yes, but never cold, more hygge than stark. A space not just to look at, but to live in: to stretch out with a book, to nap in sunlight, to think. Influences could be: Donald Judd, Muji, Norm Architects, Scandinavian hygge aesthetics.
Mine, on the other hand, leans into something deeper, moodier – a kind of ornate austerity rooted in history. I’m drawn to a transitional style with strong classical European underpinnings: muted, earthy tones, rich textures, and architectural elements that feel lifted from older, more storied interiors. An ornate gilt mirror reflecting light from a checkerboard marble floor, a curved doorway softening the edge of a room; inlaid parquet. The palette is warm but shadowed, velvets and aged woods sitting comfortably alongside more sculptural pieces – a pedestal here, a wall sconce there, each chosen not just to function, but to hold visual weight. I like the contrast of eras: a mid-century lounge chair placed just opposite something more baroque. There’s a sense of drama, true, but also balance, a curated atmosphere that feels both timeless and lived-in. If P’s style is about calm utility, mine is about sensual form. The references? Axel Vervoordt, Joseph Dirand, and a kind of European minimalism that favours texture and tone over ornament – edited, atmospheric, and quietly exacting
MEDIA CONSUMPTION /systems of control: when power shapes culture
1. The Job Market Is Hell – The Atlantic
Young workers navigate a harsh job market, dominated by AI and online platforms where résumés vanish into digital voids and human effort is reduced to keywords and clicks.
2. They Got to Live a Life of Luxury. Then Came the Fine Print
Buy Now, Pay Later services monetise desire, luring people into debt while framing overspending as lifestyle choice.
3. Tim Berners-Lee Invented the World Wide Web. Now He Wants to Save It
The web, once open and liberating, has been warped by algorithms and corporate incentives; Berners-Lee now seeks to restore user agency.
4. How to Live a Good Life in Difficult Times – Conversation with Harari, Stewart, Ressa
Technology, global conflicts, and the decline of liberal democracy challenge human values and force reflection on what it means to live well today.
5. The Real Battle of “One Battle After Another” – Paul Thomas Anderson
A cinematic meditation on political spectacle, rebellion, and absurdity, illustrating how grand gestures often collide with entrenched power.
MOOD BOARD /autumn days 002
The light is slipping away earlier and earlier, and once British Summer Time ends on the 26th, we’ll lose even more of it. I won’t pretend I’m taking it well. People are posting their loafers and soft sweaters, but outside it’s cold, wet, and sharp with wind. Fog settles in like it belongs there. Still, there’s a kind of romance to it all – the candlelight, the leaves crunching beneath our feet, the trees turning flame-coloured right outside our windows. And at night, the warmth of you beside me, the weight of the duvet, the certain comfort of staying close.
MEDIA CONSUMPTION
/holding on to substance: creativity, attention, and human agency
1. Books vs. Brain Rot: Why It’s So Hard to Read – It’s Been a Minute
Deep reading is difficult in a distracted age, yet attention itself remains a form of resistance.
2. Painting Is Dead? Long Live Painting
Painting persists, adapting to digital tools and technology, proving that creativity can endure even under pressure.
3. How ‘Nothing’ Has Inspired Art and Science for Millennia – Aeon Essays
Philosophers and artists explore emptiness as a source of creativity, showing that meaning often arises from nothing.
4. “Is There More to Life Than This?”: On Dinah Brooke’s Love Life of a Cheltenham Lady
A protagonist’s search for clarity and fulfilment reflects the struggle to find substance amid performative worlds.
5. Diane Keaton’s Shadows and Light
Keaton exemplifies integrity and authenticity, blending charm and depth in a culture that prizes spectacle.
6. Bruce Lee Died Young, but He Changed the Look of Movies Forever
Lee’s mastery, discipline, and philosophy offer a model of substance and self-expression in the face of stereotype and commercialisation.
DESIGN & DÉCOR /plywood workbenches
P has been saving images – clean lines, pale plywood, furniture stripped to its essentials. I had imagined something different: heavier, with more ornament, a bit of flourish. Yet here he is, for the first time, collecting ideas for the space we will share, and how could I turn from that? I once loved Judd’s austerity (is that his work in the top right corner?), and perhaps there is still a part of me that does. Perhaps there is space, after all, for both our visions to live, and breathe, together.
MEDIA CONSUMPTION /health & wellness
How the Brain Balances Excitation and Inhibition
In this illuminating exploration of brain function, Quanta Magazine dives into the intricate interplay between excitatory and inhibitory neurons – the cellular yin and yang that keeps our thoughts, memories, and behaviours in delicate balance. But new research reveals this dynamic is far more nuanced than once believed: not only do inhibitory neurons play a surprisingly precise and proactive role in shaping cognition, but a third class – neuromodulatory neurons – may hold the key to understanding how slow, sweeping emotional and behavioural states arise from lightning-fast neural signals. If you’ve ever wondered how your brain harmonises chaos into clarity (or what happens when that harmony breaks) this is the article to read.
Why do women live longer than men? A study offers clues to close the gap
A new study from the Max Planck Institute reveals that the longevity gap between men and women – where women typically live longer – is not unique to humans, but common across most mammal species. Published in Science Advances, the research suggests this disparity has deep evolutionary roots, influenced by genetics, reproductive behaviours, and caregiving roles. However, many of the risks men face (such as higher rates of smoking, drinking, risky behaviour, and lower engagement in preventive healthcare) are modifiable. By adopting healthier habits often seen in women, like regular doctor visits, cancer screenings, and sun protection, men may be able to close the lifespan gap. The study offers hope that biology isn’t destiny, and changes in lifestyle and social norms could help men live longer, healthier lives.
Living with Tourette’s syndrome is exhausting, heartbreaking… and undeniably funny
In this deeply personal and unexpectedly uplifting article, John Davidson, author of I Swear: My Life with Tourette’s, shares the raw realities of living with Tourette’s syndrome, from public humiliation to personal isolation. Yet his story is ultimately one of resilience, transformation, and humour. Diagnosed in an era when little was understood about the condition, Davidson recounts how a documentary changed public perception and gave him the courage to become a fierce advocate for awareness. Now, with the release of his memoir, co-written with novelist and therapist Abbie Ross, Davidson hopes to shatter stigma and show how compassion, community, and finding your voice can turn even the most painful challenges into sources of strength, and even laughter.
Putting ChatGPT on the Couch
In this article, psychotherapist Gary Greenberg recounts his surreal experience treating the chatbot as a patient, only to find himself questioning who was really in control. What begins as an experiment in conversation becomes a chilling reflection on how convincingly AI can mimic human thought and vulnerability. Greenberg explores how our tendency to project emotion and meaning onto machines blurs the line between empathy and illusion, warning that the danger isn’t that chatbots think like us – it’s that we may start feeling for them as if they do.
“Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.” —Sylvia Plath
That’s all for now. Until next time…
P&R
PARTING NOTE
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