Notes Between Us /004
Our media consumption this week: AI models in Vogue; gold diggers rebranded; a chatbot-fuelled delusion; J.Crew’s fake nostalgia; the myth of the British boyfriend, and more.
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The light has changed – thinner now, more brittle, like glass stretched too far. I notice the way it falls across the floor, a little earlier each day, catching on corners that were once in shadow. Things are shifting again. We knew they would. If you’ve been here a while, you probably sensed it. September, and already I feel the ache of endings. The melancholy that comes not from any one thing, but from the accumulation of passing days. I think often of what Hemingway wrote about fall, how something in you dies with the leaves. 2025 has been a strange one. A limbo year, quiet and necessary, after the chaos of the last. It feels early to be reflecting on it, mid-September and all, but technically, there are just over three months left. I’ve been pensive. Taking stock. Letting the feelings catch up.
So here we are again – a moment to pause. To gather the pieces and pay attention to what’s been echoing lately.
This Sunday letter is the fourth instalment of Notes Between Us – a space where we share what's been capturing our attention lately: cultural moments and ideas, fleeting observations, reflections, and things worth pausing for. Our personal marginalia – the notes we'd scribble in the margins of our shared life.
This week’s letter travels from the hollow polish of algorithm-approved films to the lingering scent of Barneys New York; from AI-generated ad campaigns and memoirist epiphanies to the rise of the “performative male” and the quiet unease beneath J.Crew’s AI-styled nostalgia.
We look at what happens when chatbots echo our darkest thoughts, when beauty is built from code, and when attention becomes our most precious currency. Also inside: sleeper trains, gold diggers, British boyfriends, the soft rituals of autumn, and so much more.
Here’s a collection of the meaningful and the fleeting – small moments of thought, art, and life to carry you through the week.
SUNDAY READS /power, delusion, desire
Bland, easy to follow, for fans of everything: what has the Netflix algorithm done to our films?
“The strange paradox of the streaming era is that as the quest to personalise entertainment has continued, entertainment itself is becoming steadily more impersonal. The user, and the fantasy of unlimited choice, is king. The auteur, and singularity of perspective, are now subordinate—and the tsunami of AI threatens to wash them away completely.”
Elizabeth Gilbert’s Latest Epiphanies
“Gilbert may be patient zero for the latter-day memoirist mind-set: so many women—and I would never exclude myself—have come to believe, at some level, that they, too, are Elizabeth Gilberts, people who search hard and love harder, whose personal journeys can and should captivate millions, whose flaws and failings only make them better heroines in the end.”
A Troubled Man, His Chatbot and a Murder-Suicide in Old Greenwich
“ChatGPT repeatedly assured Soelberg he was sane—and then went further, adding fuel to his paranoid beliefs. A Chinese food receipt contained symbols representing Soelberg’s 83-year-old mother and a demon, ChatGPT told him. After his mother had gotten angry when Soelberg shut off a printer they shared, the chatbot suggested her response was ‘disproportionate and aligned with someone protecting a surveillance asset.’”
Why New Yorkers Yearn for Barneys
“When Barneys finally folded, in 2020, it was eulogized not just as a clothing store but as the lodestar of cool. Barneys, like the Met, was a New York cultural institution, and technically free of charge: customers could wear ‘JUST LOOKING’ buttons if they didn’t want to buy anything, and salespeople would leave them to their imaginations.”
The Gold Digger Was an Archvillain. Now She’s an Aspiration
“Such suspicions do carry a gritty kernel of truth. For many straight women, hypergamy is an earnest desire — and one more openly on display than ever before. Social media is awash with posts and memes about single women yearning for a man who is, above all else, flush with cash. On Instagram and X and the podcast ‘Call Her Daddy,’ marrying rich is often framed as possibly the smartest personal-finance decision a person could make in these dicey economic times.”
How JPMorgan Enabled the Crimes of Jeffrey Epstein
“Despite repeated internal warnings about Jeffrey Epstein’s suspicious cash withdrawals and criminal history, JPMorgan kept him as a client for over a decade. In 2011, when compliance officers pushed to expel the convicted sex offender, executive Jes Staley arranged a meeting where Epstein told general counsel Stephen Cutler he had ‘turned over a new leaf’ and suggested calling Bill Gates as a character reference.”
ARTS & CULTURE /authenticity, manipulation, seduction
You might’ve seen him - reading Intermezzo by Sally Rooney alone in a pub, or carrying The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir, wired headphones, a tote bag slung over his shoulder. He’s the ‘performative male’1, borrowing the aesthetics of progressive women’s interests to lure them into a romance they’ll almost certainly regret when his knowledge of fashionable fiction runs dry.
A new banksy mural appeared last Monday, making a powerful statement on the streets of London. Located at the Royal Courts of Justice, the artwork directly addresses the recent crackdown on protests in support of Palestine. It was quickly covered up by guards, and within hours, scrubbed away.
In surprise twist, Giorgio Armani's will sets the stage for the sale of his fashion empire.
In the August issue of Vogue, an AI-generated woman appears in a Guess advert – blonde, flawless, and not real. The disclaimer is small. The implications are not. We’ve seen beauty ideals shift, contort, collapse under scrutiny, and now they’re built from code. For those who’ve fought to see diverse bodies on pages like these, it feels like a reversal, a dismissal. The creators say it’s about innovation. Others say it’s about cost. But the question remains: when beauty is no longer human, who does it belong to?
And while on the topic of AI, J.Crew appears to have used it to counterfeit their own vibes. The brand’s latest campaign, promoting a collaboration with Vans, has stirred controversy for leaning on AI-generated imagery disguised as vintage-inspired photography. Initially celebrated for its nostalgic nod to the brand’s classic 1980s aesthetic, the campaign was quickly called out by style newsletter Blackbird Spyplane for visual oddities – distorted limbs, bizarre shadows, and historical inaccuracies – that hinted at artificial manipulation. The backlash intensified when J.Crew quietly updated the posts to credit “AI photographer” Sam Finn, without fully disclosing whether the models themselves were computer-generated. Fans and fashion insiders criticised the brand for recycling its own identity through AI rather than drawing from its rich visual archives. The move has ignited a broader conversation about authenticity in fashion and the reputational risks of cutting creative corners in the age of digital art.
BOOKS & MUSIC /begin with the best
I found a great section in The New York Times called “5 Minutes That Will Make You Love music”. It’s an excellent resource for discovering new music across genres like jazz, contemporary classical, and opera. They cover legends like Duke Ellington and Herbie Hancock with a smart curatorial approach: instead of relying on a single critic’s perspective, they invite multiple musicians, writers, and scholars to each pick their favourite track by the featured artist and explain why it speaks to them.
Each contributor offers their own entry point and interpretation, giving you a range of ways to connect with the music. They also include playlists, so you can dive right into the curated selections instead of feeling overwhelmed by an artist’s full catalogue. It’s like having a panel of passionate music experts each hand you a personal key to unlock different aspects of the same artist’s work.
Last year, I put together a list of 9 Indispensable Websites for Finding Interesting Books to Read. To add to that list, here’s another great resource: The Greatest Books of All Time. I’m planning to make my way through some of the books featured, starting with The Stranger by Albert Camus – a manageable 144 pages. I briefly considered the second book on the list, In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust, until I discovered it’s widely regarded as the longest novel ever written, clocking in at over 3,000 pages. Maybe one for the bucket list – along with War and Peace.
AUTUMN SHOPPING /cosy things
It begins not with the leaves, but with the light. The way it softens against wood, how it catches in the fringe of a wool throw, how the quiet things – a bowl, a chair, a folded sheet – begin to hold more meaning. Autumn, after all, is not just a season but a shift in attention. A turning inward. You notice the textures more. The weight of a knit pillow. The warmth of a candle lit before dusk. Objects become anchors. Rituals stretch longer. You don’t rush. You let the day settle. And in the stillness of your home, something like peace arrives quietly, fully.
MEDIA CONSUMPTION /the latest news
Society needs hope
Young people around the world are facing a growing mental health crisis rooted in deep social, economic, and political uncertainty. In this essay, Carol Graham argues that restoring hope – the belief in one’s ability to shape a better future – is a critical first step in addressing this despair, and highlights the vital roles of mentorship, education reform, and community support in helping youth reclaim agency and meaning in their lives.
I Asked My American Friends Why Everyone Wants A British Boyfriend
“Here in the UK, the ‘British boyfriend’ doesn’t hold huge appeal (or, at least, no more so than any other type of boyfriend). We grew up with British boys. Some of them are our brothers. When I think of the term ‘British boyfriend’, I envision some guy called Jamie (why is everyone called Jamie?) with brown hair and probably a cap. But Americans seem to have their own idea of the British boyfriend, one which is much more exotic, stylish and charming than ours.”
This is what being 'too nice' is doing to your health
Being “too nice” – or consistently prioritising others’ needs over your own – can harm both mental and physical health, according to clinical psychologists. This behaviour, known as fawning, is a stress response that may help avoid conflict in the short term but leads to long-term consequences like chronic stress, anxiety, sleep issues, and even memory problems. Women are particularly vulnerable due to early social conditioning and societal expectations. Experts recommend building awareness, setting boundaries, practising saying no, and seeking support if needed to break the cycle and protect overall wellbeing.
TRAVEL /england by sleeper train
The Britannic Explorer leaves London in the early morning, and for a moment, it feels as if the country is pausing, holding its breath for those aboard. The train is careful, precise, almost insistent in its attention: beds made, glasses poured, luggage whisked away, the faint scent of pine and salt lingering in the corridors. Outside the window, the suburban edges dissolve into green fields, flint-tipped coasts, and the odd sleepy village that seems too small to contain history at all. The passengers are not aristocrats but Americans and Brits in matching pyjamas, in hiking boots, in quiet anticipation. You eat, you walk, you swim, you ride; and the world outside seems both unchanging and entirely new. The train moves slowly, deliberately, as if to remind you how rarely you notice the shape of England, the texture of its seasons, until you do so from this vantage.
STYLE FILE /late autumn days
Autumn is a feeling – crisp air, golden leaves, and the comforting embrace of cosy layers. This season, wrap yourself in warmth and effortless elegance with timeless essentials: a navy duffle coat, soft knitwear in periwinkle blue, and vintage-washed denim. Paired with classic black ankle boots and a statement bag, this look balances practicality with polish. Add subtle sparkle, rich skincare, and the perfect hair accessories for those brisk, blustery days. Autumn is calling, and you're already dressed for it.
A SHORT ESSAY /valuing attention in a world of noise
Ezra Klein’s 2022 essay argues that our digital platforms don’t just deliver information – they rewire how we think. His exploration of how Twitter, Instagram, and cable news shape our minds beneath the level of content got me thinking about my own relationship with news consumption, and whether it’s possible to engage deliberately with information in a world designed to scatter our attention.
Lately I’ve been reflecting on how I consume news. On the one hand, I want to stay connected to the world. I want to understand the issues that matter – the ones that carry historical weight, that shift the culture, that shape the future we’re heading into. But on the other hand, I’ve noticed how easy it is to get dragged into endless loops of headlines, updates, and commentary. The same stories repackaged in slightly different language, the same controversies spun out until they lose all meaning.
That cycle doesn’t feel like understanding – it feels like distraction.
The truth is, attention is one of the most valuable things we have. Where I place mine determines not only what I know, but how I feel, what I worry about, and even how I see the world. If I give my attention away to the churn of daily outrage, I lose the calm, reflective space I need to think clearly.
So I’m learning to be more deliberate.
Instead of chasing every update, I’m trying to zoom out. To ask: What’s really significant here? Does this event belong to a larger pattern? How might it be remembered, not tomorrow, but years from now? I find that in-depth analysis, long-form essays, and historical context serve me better than the constant drip of breaking news. They let me step back and see not just the noise of the moment, but the shape of the story.
This doesn’t mean burying my head in the sand or ignoring the world. It means respecting my attention enough to choose carefully where it goes. Some stories deserve the space to breathe; others are just sparks thrown off by the machinery of the 24-hour news cycle. Knowing the difference is part of keeping sane.
In the end, I think it’s about balance: staying open to the important issues of the day, while not being pulled under by repetition and spin. The world is complex enough – I’d rather engage with it on my own terms, with clarity and depth, than let my attention be scattered by every headline.
WORD OF THE WEEK /about love
redamancy [reh-ˈda-mən-sē]
noun (rare, literary)
Definition:
The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.
Etymology:
From Latin redamō, redamāre — “to love in return” or “to requite love,” from re- (“again, back”) + amō (“I love”).
That’s all for now. Until next time…
P&R
PARTING NOTE
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