Discussions on Beauty: An Essay
An exploration of the complex relationship between makeup, societal pressures, and personal identity
The morning sun shone brightly on a crisp October day as we strolled through the tranquil courtyard of the Scottish nursing home where a very elderly family member had recently taken up residence. Our path led us past a park bench where two care workers were enjoying their break, seated side by side. As we drew near, one of them called out to me, her voice friendly and warm, "You're really beautiful, you know!" Flattered by the unexpected compliment, I replied with a gracious, "Thank you." Her colleague then added, her gaze shifting between us, "He's very lucky" referring to P.
It is a common occurrence, these unprompted compliments about my appearance. In the waiting room at the dentist's office, while ordering from a market stall, or simply going about the mundane tasks of daily life, random women and girls will pause to tell me that I am beautiful. While such remarks are undoubtedly intended as compliments—and are certainly more pleasant to receive than the unsolicited attention from men—they carry an underlying complexity. There is a double-edged nature to being told one possesses conventional beauty standards. As Tressie McMillan Cottom insightfully writes in her book Thick and Other Essays, "beauty isn't actually what you look like; beauty is the preferences that reproduce the existing social order." So even as I graciously accept the well-meaning compliments, I can not help but recognise that by being celebrated for conforming to the predominant standards of beauty, I am unintentionally reinforcing the very societal framework that dictates and limits what is considered beautiful.